Divorce Advice: The Causes of Divorce and How To Cope With It
It is a sad fact that many people do not want to acknowledge but the truth is many marriages end in divorce. In fact, approximately one third of marriages these days will fail with spouses going their separate ways.
Divorce is a subject that makes people naturally uncomfortable because nobody like to think that their love affair is going to end badly. Discussing divorce is akin to talking about death - few people like to admit that it can affect their lives.
Unfortunately the hard reality will mean that many of us will indeed have to deal with the pain and trauma of divorce.
If your marriage has come to an end, and you are facing the prospect of divorce, what things should you do, or expect to feel, during this very difficult time in your life? Following is a list of things you can do to make the period easier.
1) Understand your emotions
Despite the wealth of information about separation and divorce, it is still a highly under-rated event in people's lives.
Indeed many people do not realize that separation and divorce is frequently as traumatic as the death of a loved one. With over ten percent of the population involved in divorce, it is important to understand what it might mean.
Divorce means you are losing the person that you have built your life with, and thought you would spend the rest of your days with. When your relationship ends, you have to make enormous adjustments both emotionally, financially and practically to accommodate their absence in your life.
Psychologists suggest that most people that go through separation should prepare themselves for the same stages of emotion that you would experience if a loved one did in fact die.
You must allow yourself to grieve in order to get over the loss. What's more you have to remember that the internal work of grief is a process, a personal journey that is unique to you.
It does not simply end on a particular day or date, but rather you will "work through" your grief until your pain ebbs away. And there are five distinct stages to grieving that you are likely to encounter, including denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
2) Counseling and support
Separation and divorce is such a tumultuous time that many people benefit from seeking the assistance of a counselor or joining a support group.
While talking with friends is always normal, some people that are embroiled in a divorce can unwittingly lean too heavily on friends and family. More importantly it is never appropriate to discuss the divorce and any related grievances with children of the relationship.
According to many counselors, it is imperative that parents do not involve their children in their disputes, so discussing any anguish, fights or pain with the kids is out!
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Likewise it is generally not advisable to bring your domestic problems to work. The best way to ensure that you get the emotional help and support that you need, without jeopardizing your work, friendships or relationship with your children is to "emotionally outsource" by visiting a counselor or attending a support group.
The benefit of seeing a counselor or joining a support group is that the people you will be discussing your feelings are neutral, independent and not involved.
3) Legal advice
Often parties that are separating will not seek legal advice straight away. While this is common, it can have a serious impact on your future arrangements, especially with regard to children of the marriage.
When it comes to custody and parenting arrangements, the law pays particular attention to the routine that you set up for your children post-separation.
The law is loath to upset any well-established pattern of custody and care. So, if the children informally start spending the majority of time with your partner, and only fortnightly weekend visits with you, you might find the courts will refuse to disturb that arrangement down the track. Seeking legal advice with regard to custody and parenting arrangements is imperative when it appears clear that you and your partner are not going to reconcile.
The same goes for property matters. Even though it is hard to face the details of separation straight away, the sooner you get your legal affairs in order, the better.
4) Stay healthy, busy with work and engage in new activities
Although separation is extremely hard, you will weather it! As hard as it is to be positive, try to see this as a juncture in your life whereby you will renew yourself and start over.
Once the pain and hardship of divorce is over, many people look at the experience and conclude it was a very constructive turning point in their life. Renewing your interest in hobbies, focusing on your health and taking up new past-times are some of the ways you can turn divorce into something very empowering.
Like all trauma, separation and divorce can be a period of rebirth.
Address:
San Diego Divorce Lawyer, The Law Office of Michael C. MacNeil,
12707 High Bluff Dr #200
San Diego, CA 92130
(858) 922-7098
12 Ways To Avoid Divorce And Build A Strong Marriage- Divorce Lawyer’s Advice
But, honestly, before I even take any divorce case, I take my time to enquire on the major reasons that make couples to contemplate of a divorce. I further take my time to try and see if their issues can be resolved to avoid divorce.
There are staggering excuses given as to why people divorce, I thought of sharing some amazing ideas on how to save your marriage before it goes down the divorce lane. This piece is a special professional advice from a divorce lawyer following the many family cases I have handled in my professional career.
Have you ever thought about the pain of going through a divorce and financial implications in the waiting? If you had a slight idea you would think otherwise and head to resolving whatever problems you have and focus on building a strong marriage.
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Let me get straight to the answers on how to solve marital problems that are rocking your home with tangible solutions that will most definitely help in building a strong marriage.
Take control of your emotions
Marital problems can be such a mess and if emotions are allowed to take control of the situation, it is likely to get even worse. Simply take a deep breath and focus on finding solutions to the problems that you are facing. If you let emotions take control of you, then the resolution is going to be difficult and life generally becomes one big mess.
Get motivation
Personal motivation is all you need, to begin with in case of marital problems. Just try and forget all that is happening even if it is for a few hours. Move on with the rest of your life like nothing is happening and soon you will have a fresh perspective on how to handle the issues. You need immeasurable energy to face marital problems head on and it all begins with you.
No single marital problem has ever been solved with the victim sitting pretty passive and waiting for things to turn around and get better. You are the one to make them better and believe you can do it. If you need somebody to talk to then head straight and get a divorce lawyer´s advice on your situation.
Identify the problems
Look closely into yourself and find out where the problem is without throwing the blame game around; things won´t get any better with this attitude. Trying to get the things that are affecting your marriage and trying to change where you can go a long way in improving your marriage.
Focus on the major problem at hand
Sometimes when an issue comes up, couples tend to dig deeper into non-issues rather than focusing on the single major problem. Dragging past issue into the current problem only gets matters worse. Focusing on the major problem will greatly help in solving the situation rather than trying to work on everything all at once.
Be a good listener
Listening is quite different from waiting to respond. Real listening to your spouse will help you to understand the issues at hand. This may go a long way in solving the issues rocking your marriage. Always focus on holding good and healthy conversations without calling each other names and you will realize how effective it works in cooling down the emotions. A divorce lawyers can be essential in such talks to help neutralize the conversations so as to reach an amicable agreement
Device new tactics to approach your marital issues
If you have been having marital problems for some time, it means something is really wrong in the approach tactics to your problems. Come up with new creative ways that you think will work out this time. Try to make a request on changes that you want your spouse to uphold and do it calmly by explaining why you need the changes.
Build confidence
You can do this by setting small family goals that are focused on building self-esteem and confidence in your marriage. Some couples are helpless in changing things around their marriage simply because they lack the confidence of doing it.
Welcome your differences
The biggest mistake many people do is trying to change their spouses to what they want them to be. In order avoid conflicts, gracefully appreciate your differences and understand each other with your differences. Always allow the vows you took to bind you "For Better For Worse".
Silence works
This is a crucial weapon to marital breakups that many people don´t know about. This however does not mean ignoring your spouse but silence when things are really bad helps a lot in preventing more trouble. You, however, need to know when to remain silent and when not to. Many arguments are solved by letting go.
Always be honest
This is the mother of all tactics ever employed in resolving family problems. Always be honest to yourself and your spouse in everything concerning your marriage. Dishonesty is the mother of all family problems these days and the solution is trying as much as possible to remain honest.
If it is difficult to honestly speak to your spouse, it is good, to be honest to an intermediary taking you through the resolution process, most probably a divorce lawyer that understands these issues.
Be best of friend
Let friendship be the foundation of your marriage. It is commonly said that friends do share anything and everything and always try not to hurt each other. Friends respect each other even in differences and continually love each other no matter what. A long lasting relationship is based on friendship and so is the case with marriage.
Keep dating and Show affection
Many couples leave dating once they get married. This should not be the case. Dating literally means spending time together and doing things that you love together. When this is incorporated in marriage, it brings good memories and shuts out problems that are rocking your marriage. This way, you may effectively avoid divorce.
Appreciating each other and showing affection should be a marital ritual whereby as couples you affirm your feelings to each other. A small "I Love You" note is critical alongside other acts of love like messaging among others.
Address:
San Diego Divorce Lawyer, The Law Office of Michael C. MacNeil,
12707 High Bluff Dr #200
San Diego, CA 92130
(858) 922-7098
Advantages of an Uncontested Divorce versus a Contested Divorce
An uncontested divorce is the only way to go when getting a divorce. For one, you do not need an attorney, the divorce is done in private, and issues can be negotiated 1 on 1. You may need an attorney if you can not make an agreement of every issue you negotiate. Disagreements you should be ready for are the grounds for divorce, payment of family debts, visitation rights, division of the assets of the marriage, child support, alimony, custody of the children, payment of health insurance for the dependent, contribution toward educational expenses, and income tax.
It is important that you negotiate all the issues of the divorce before you file for an uncontested divorce. Uncontested divorces are given an identification number and are considered by the court as an issue that will eventually need trial time in order to resolve problem issues in the divorce. This is because until you two get all the issues of the divorce case negotiated your uncontested divorce is considered a "Contested Divorce".
When all the issues are negotiated you can then stipulate to the court to have the matters heard as an Uncontested Divorce or "no fault divorce" matter. The court will then expedite the Hearing then they will hear proof of the agreement of the grounds of the divorce. For more on Divorce lawyer consultation fee review our own website.
The proper way to prove the grounds of the divorce is with an Uncontested Divorce form. Id highly recommend you to get your form from legalformsbank.biz for your state's specific up-to-date Uncontested Divorce form. Be aware of sites where you must type in your personal information so they can "generate" your legal form. Not only are you giving someone else your extremely sensitive information that could be used for all kind of identity fraud, your liable to have your money and information taken from hackers who put up legitimate looking sites then disappear off the net without ever giving you your Uncontested Divorce form.
Address:
San Diego Divorce Lawyer, The Law Office of Michael C. MacNeil,
12707 High Bluff Dr #200
San Diego, CA 92130
(858) 922-7098
Selecting the Suitable Attorney is Crucial to Help You Get Through Your Divorce
Authorities in psychology let us know that the breakup is truly one of, or possibly quite possibly the most stressful event that can possibly take place in someone's daily life. The number and kinds of instances that arise to end up in a breakup tend to be as special as individuals and can encompass all kinds of things from mistrust to abuse to simple incompatibility, that in truth alone can devastate your self concept and self-esteem. Furthermore, there is a financial cost of a divorce process. Often people can easily get to an equitable distribution regarding all their income and worldly items, and sometimes they find they cannot. There are the complicated problems that encompass children together with their custody. A thing that everyone, upon acknowledging divorce is without a doubt about to happen should do will be to get in touch with Divorce Lawyer Cumming to ensure that they will have well-informed representation.
DUI Lawyer Cumming delivers skilled assistance about the topic of divorce, guidance that is objective. attorney cumming ga can be the first divorce proceedings you have ever experienced. alpharetta divorce attorney 'll find issues to take into consideration plus options to be generated of which you've probably not received time to totally entertain. By having family attorney near me can actually get around these days involving mental uncertainty with sophistication and dignity, plus end up receiving the results you wanted. A fantastic attorney will be able to support individuals under-going divorce an image with the road ahead, and is in a position to enable them to navigate the difficult spots and problems related to that road to their particular benefit. No person ever wants to go through the breakup of a marriage, but if this type of road must be taken, it's essential to use a good legal help along the way.
Address:
San Diego Divorce Lawyer, The Law Office of Michael C.
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MacNeil,
12707 High Bluff Dr #200
San Diego, CA 92130
(858) 922-7098
Do You Need A Divorce Lawyer
If your marriage has ended, and both parties feel that it's time to get a divorce, you do not necessarily need a divorce lawyer to handle your case. You can file for a divorce yourself using many of the do-it-yourself divorce kits if there are no children involved, and if the marital property can be divided as both parties would like. If you have children, if one or the other protests the divorce, or if you have a lot of property to divide, you should hire a divorce lawyer.
A divorce lawyer will file the proper paperwork to ensure that you get your fair share in the divorce. This is especially true if your spouse is against the divorce or disagrees with certain aspects of the breakup, like custody of children or division of the marital property.
To save money, you and your spouse should sit down and discuss the areas of concern before hiring a divorce lawyer. If you both can come to an agreement on some aspects of the divorce, or better yet, all aspects of the divorce, you will not have to cover those areas other than to tell the divorce lawyer what you can agree on before he or she begins working on your case.
If you both can agree on custody, but can't decide on how to split the value of your home, you will save money when you cover only the concern with your divorce lawyer of how to divide your home. There will be no need to waste time discussing the custody issue if it's resolved, which will save legal fees. A divorce lawyer charges by the hour and if you can save 30 minutes of talking, you could save yourself more than a hundred dollars. Therefore, always discuss aspects of the divorce individually before bringing your concerns before the divorce lawyer.
If you do not feel that your spouse can discuss the case rationally without anger, then your divorce lawyer will know how best to deal with him or her.
When selecting a divorce lawyer, you will want to locate one that is not only good, but that is also compassionate. Going through a divorce can be very stressful for both parties and any children involved, so you should make sure that your divorce lawyer has a compassionate and caring attitude not only towards you and your children, but towards your spouse as well. There's no reason to have an angry and stressful divorce no matter what you and your spouse's differences are, and your divorce lawyer should be understanding of this.
If you hire a divorce lawyer and if you are not happy with his or her services, do not hesitate firing him or her. You are paying for legal services and if you are not happy with the way your divorce lawyer is handling your case, you are always free to find someone who will handle your divorce in a manner that you see fit.
Of course there are certain laws each party must abide by. Custody issues, visitation and child support are some things your divorce lawyer cannot change. Liberal visitation is provided for the one who does not have physical custody, and child support is legally required. If your divorce lawyer states that you must let your spouse see his or her child every other weekend, this is something that you can not change and you should not get upset with your divorce lawyer about something like this.
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But if your divorce lawyer states that he or she is going to draft the papers to grant more than is required by law, and if you are unhappy about this, ask the divorce lawyer to make changes or find yourself another divorce lawyer.
Address:
San Diego Divorce Lawyer, The Law Office of Michael C. MacNeil,
12707 High Bluff Dr #200
San Diego, CA 92130
(858) 922-7098
Celebrity Divorce Lawyer Takes Into Account Every Facet of the Case
A divorce is always a tough decision for any married person, emotionally as well as financially. It's an upsetting experience of life of all those who are going to get divorced. Celebrity divorce lawyer is a legal advisor who helps celebrities in getting divorce. This situation arises due to some problem that arises between the couples. When a victim goes through this traumatic experience, he may feel like he's alone in the world. It has been seen that nearly half of marriages in the United States end in divorce, and even the rich and famous one's aren't exempt. People marry to make their life better and lead it in a peaceful way. When things work in reverse way and the couple's conflict on every single matter then this situation arises. Sometimes it has been seen that the marriages collapse faster.
The divorce rate has been found rapidly increasing. Divorce is very much rising these days and celebrity divorce lawyer is more in demand now then they were ever before.
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Almost every other day when you read a newspaper, there is some news about a celebrity getting divorce from his spouse. And so a divorce lawyer is required to solve divorce cases. In United States, one can come across various celebrity divorce lawyer that are available at your call to handle your case. So if a victim is a celebrity or any other person looking for the services of a divorce lawyer then he needs to find out certain things before hiring them. A divorce lawyer will assist victim at any time during working hours. He will make you aware of the facts and other related information that may prove helpful in getting divorce.
The most important fact which you must be aware of before hiring a celebrity divorce lawyer is that their services are very expensive compared to a general lawyer. The victim should be ready to bear the cost of such divorce lawyer if he wants him to work. This particular divorce lawyer is difficult for any one to hire because he is very much busy due to enormous number of cases that he has to handle. One can also come across problem in seeking an appointment with them. So, one must make sure that he is searching at the right place, if he is in urgent need in hiring the services of a celebrity divorce lawyer to handle any kind of divorce cases. There are various law firms in United States that have celebrity divorce lawyer who work for their clients.
One can find a reputed celebrity divorce lawyer from newspapers, magazines or even browsing the web. Talk about the case very clearly with the lawyer so that one can he can properly help to make the case in the victim's favor. An experienced and qualified divorce lawyer will proficiently deal with important aspects of divorce like custody of children and division of asset. The couples mostly happen to discuss more on this topic as child custody holds utmost importance. Getting divorce is a very tough decision of an individual's life and if he is sure to seek then he must look for an efficient divorce lawyer they must make sure that they seek the services of an efficient lawyer who will help him to win the case.
Address:
San Diego Divorce Lawyer, The Law Office of Michael C. MacNeil,
12707 High Bluff Dr #200
San Diego, CA 92130
(858) 922-7098
What to Look For in a Divorce Lawyer - How to Choose Wisely
With the changes in family law over the last 30 years, including the adoption of equitable distribution in place of the old common-law rules, the adoption of laws protecting military spouses, and the adoption of support guidelines and various local rules promulgated within the various circuits, the area of separation and divorce has become much too complicated and specialized for someone who does not regularly handle these types of cases. It distresses us when clients come to us with poorly drafted separation agreements, and/or decrees which other inexperienced attorneys have handled. Just as it is better to win at trial than to have a great appeal issue, it is much better to have the right attorney, one who will get it right the first time, than to have to pay someone to fix problems stemming from errors made in the first place. Sometimes the errors are very costly and cannot be fixed as shown in the series of articles I wrote for The Family Law News, a peer review publication of the Virginia State Bar, Section of Family Law, entitled "Costly Errors in Multi-State Military Divorce; Or a Military Wife's Tale of Woe," which are published in the Fall 2007 and Spring 2008 issues of the publication.
The series of articles outlines the legal authorities, strategy and procedural points we used to successfully defend a military retiree, who was a veteran of the Vietnam War. His ex-wife was attempting to obtain half of his military retired pay and spousal support here in Virginia, despite having divorced him six years earlier in Hawaii. While we are always happy to achieve a successful outcome for our clients, we felt sorry for the ex-wife, who had received poor legal advice from hr attorney in the original divorce action in Hawaii, advice that lead to poor decisions which the Virginia Court found to bind her permanently. In ruling for us in the case, the judge told the ex-wife that instead of suing her ex-husband, show should go after the attorney in Hawaii who represented her in the divorce.
So, how do you go about finding a good divorce lawyer? Here are a few suggestions:
Suggestion #1-Ask a Lawyer
If you know a lawyer, ask him/her for a referral to a good divorce lawyer. He or she will probably know someone or several someones who devote a significant portion of the practice of law to separation and divorce and related issues. For example, I have been handling separation and divorce for 30 years and have an excellent reputation among the local legal community. Any divorce attorney worth his/her salt should have established a reputation among other lawyers. Lawyers generally know who is good for a particular type of case; they certainly know who they would see, if they were facing separation and divorce.
Suggestion #2-Yellow Pages/Internet
While not a great source of information, the Yellow Pages and internet can be a beginning source of attorney names. Lawyers who do not mention separation, divorce, military divorce, and related areas like custody and support or property division, are not seeking cases in those areas and certainly don't devote a significant portion of the practice to those areas. Be leery of ads that include a laundry list of everything under the sun. Remember the old saying, "a jack of all trades and master of none"? Wouldn't you rather have someone who takes the time to focus at least a significant amount of time to family law, than someone who maybe devotes 3% of his/her practice to family law issues? Remember not everyone advertises in the Yellow Pages or haw a website or internet presence.. For example, there are more telephone listings than there are attorney ads in the Yellow Pages.
SUGGESTION # 3-VIRGINIA LAWYER REFERRAL SERVICE
The Virginia Lawyer Referral Service is operated by the Virginia State Bar. Lawyers must ask to get on the list and must agree to a fixed fee for an initial consultation. A lawyer can be listed under any category he/she asks for. The names are on a rotating list and given to consumers who contact the service. Again, not all attorneys are listed. We are not listed with the referral service. This resource can provide the name of an attorney who is seeking family law cases. This does not mean that the attorney is an expert in these types of cases or that he/she is experienced. All it means is that he or she is seeking divorce cases. Be sure to take the questions I talk about here to the attorney interview.
Suggestion #4-Talk to More Than One Attorney
In fact, interview several attorneys. Ask each attorney who else handles separation and divorce in the area. If they won't give you names, leave the office, when you see names showing up on various lists of recommendations, the odds are probably good that the attorney is doing these cases on a regular basis.
Suggestion #5 - Use a Checklist
I have outlined factors that you should consider when selecting a divorce lawyer.
A. Experience. The longer you have been practicing a particular area of the law, the more you know. There is an old adage that says a good lawyer knows the law and a great lawyer knows the judge! What is the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? Experience.
B. Experience Trying Cases. Has he/she achieved any trial successes for his/her clients? Can the lawyer point to case results or client testimonial reflecting his/her abilities?
C. Are they willing to settle when appropriate to do so? Trial attorneys sometimes suffer from a hired gun mentality. They like the thrill of trying cases and may not consider other options, such as mediation or arbitration to achieve a resolution. Most good divorce attorneys do not adopt this approach, but see trial as a last resort, when other options have failed to precipitate a fair resolution of the issues. Unlike other areas of the law, family law often entails ongoing relationships and consequently requires a different perspective. I recently read an article by a personal injury attorney, who was writing on how to choose a personal injury lawyer. He said not to choose a lawyer who settles a lot of cases. When it comes to separation and divorce, I believe it is important to try to reach an agreement, if you can.
Going to court about family law unless you have to is like using a sledge hammer on a flea problem; you may kill a few fleas, but you wreak a lot of damage to the structure of the house, too. When individuals settle their own cases outside of court, they can be a lot more creative than the court would be in fashioning a remedy that is fair to both parties. Sometimes, agreement is just not possible. When that is the case, you want an experienced able divorce attorney who can advocate for your position in court and has a proven track record of success.
D. Respect in the legal community. What are other lawyers saying about this lawyer? Has the lawyer lectured or taught? Has he/she taught other lawyers?
E. Publications.
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Has he/she written anything that has been accepted for publication in legal journals? This is another sign of respect for the lawyer and for his/her skills and experience. Has he/she written or published anything designed to educate the public as to their rights duties and responsibilities under the law?
F. Affiliations and memberships. What professional affiliations does the attorney have? Is he/she a member of the Family Law Section of the Virginia State Bar Association? A member of the Virginia Trial Lawyers? A fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Attorneys?
G. Does the attorney limit the number of cases he/she undertakes? We don't take every case that calls in or walks through the door. We limit the number of cases that we undertake to handle at a given point in time so that we an focus on doing the best job for those clients.
H. Relationship issues.
1. How was the telephone answered when you called for an appointment?
2. How were you greeted when you entered the office? Were you offered refreshments?
3. Did the attorney and staff listen to you? Are you sure? Could you tell they were listening?
4. Were you interrupted during your time with the lawyer?
5. Does the attorney use written agreements setting out the parameters of the representation and the financial arrangements?
6. One of the most important aspects of choosing a lawyer is the relationship aspect: you need to be able to work effectively and comfortably with your lawyer. The relationship requires intimacy and trust. Do you feel comfortable with the attorney?
7. Were you introduced to staff?
8. How long does the attorney retain files on closed cases? What happens to the closed file? How is it disposed of? What steps does the attorney take to safeguard your confidential information?
I. Why does he/she practice divorce law? Friends and colleagues think I'm crazy to devote so much time to separation and divorce law. They may be right, I just may be a little crazy. But like the song says, "it just may be a lunatic you're looking for." When interviewing a potential divorce lawyer be sure to ask him/her why they choose to practice family law. Does the lawyer have a life experience that allows him/her to advocate for divorce clients with genuine passion? Is that passion something that is reflected in client testimonials?
J. Cost. Unlike personal injury practice, the best divorce lawyers do not offer "free" consultations. You will notice that cost is last on the list. In our experience, the best divorce lawyers are generally not the cheapest. In the long run, what is it worth to you to retain or acquire your fair share of the assets that have been accumulated over the course of your married life? What is it worth to you to insure that you retain your fair share of time with your children? Some things are worth fighting for and worth the price that you have to pay.
If your attorney does not devote a significant portion of his/her practice to family law issues, has never tried a contested divorce, has never tried a contested custody case or who has never tried an equitable distribution case, or drafted a qualified domestic relations order dividing a pension, or who has no experience in military divorce and has never drafted a military retired pay order, you may want to choose another lawyer for your separation and divorce.
